Thursday, February 25, 2010

Mr. Per(Fict)

Recently I read Ramayana (the abridged version by C.Rajagopalachari) and Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, two books which couldn’t be more different to one another. Rama is such a beautifully etched character. Every person loves Rama as their hero. I would say, compare it to Edward Cullen. Both were awe-inspiring to me, but both two different characters, one a God and the other, a vampire. I found a serene mysterious beauty in them.

So that makes me think, why do women fall for men in literature, fiction, movies and plays. What makes them so appealing? So exciting? The reason is that they are not like the men we encounter in real life, who according to me, have at least one major ‘Tragic flaw’ (originally used in Julius Caesar, work of Shakespeare, meaning, a flaw in the character of the protagonist of a tragedy that brings the protagonist to ruin or sorrow) that overshadows all other qualities. We see a guy, fall for him, then comes the getting to know each other part. That is the time we get to know, “hey this dude is quite different from what I thought he would be like!”/ “what I fell for in the first place is not as appealing as I thought”. We still make-do and move on, liking and relishing the differentness, somewhere within, even accepting it.

Then later, in most cases, after considerable time, the guy unleashes his ‘tragic flaw’, which catches you off guard and makes you miserable. Anything that is very hard to accept at that stage, qualifies as a tragic flaw. Something you have not paid attention to earlier perhaps, but has always been there. And of course, all guys have one. Talks with friends, reading extensively have revealed certain traits, for example, some could be compulsive liars (these guys would lie extravagantly like there’s no tomorrow), some brag endlessly, some are too fake (read wannabes), some penny pinchers, some with funny ‘engliss’, some don’t know how to treat girls, some are addicts (could be anything), some hide an inferiority complex that consumes him whole..phew..the list would never end.


Every guy possesses one or more of these traits in different combinations. The basic fact is that at some point in time, any of this, to a girl, does become a problem. That is when a girls heart squeaks, “Maybe he is not the right one..” As to a girl who has grown up reading about Rama, Prince Charming, Darcy, Peter Parker, Edward Cullen, the standards for the perfect guy are set too high. It’s best we stay happy with a few qualities out of the skill set, a subset. But is there actually something as the Perfect man? A myth in all probability.

21 comments:

prashaant said...

hmm.. i guess everyone is a perfect version of themselves.. it would be really sad to be living in world where everyone is a perfect clone of a "perfect" fictional character ....

hmm..as for a perfect partner.. i think anyone who accepts u just like u r is a perfect partner..

what do u think?

Zneha said...

Of course. If you go through my work again, you will see I am simply stating a girls woes, how she looks for a perfect man despite faltering everytime. It is a reality. No one is perfect, but it is a human tendency to look for the best. There is a little girl inside who believes in Prince Charming. That little girl lives in a girl's heart throughout life.

Yes indeed life is all about accepting. That makes life interesting.

Zneha said...

And without realising it..subconsciously she is measuring every guy against that image of the perfect guy who will take care of her, pamper her, love her more than necessary, have a social stand, interesting looking, respectful of elders, knows when to speak what..She reads about fantasy heroes and desires someone like that for herself. Its ingrained in her.

prashaant said...

hmm..I guess I see what you mean now.. I did not intend to be mean :)

I hope all the girls out there do get their personal version of this illusive Mr. Perfect :D

cheers!

Andy said...

good one :)

Pari M said...

i thought the same as Prashant when i first read your blog.... but your clarification says it all........ cum to think of it, you are right.. :)

BORAN said...

There's No perfect Man..Do u thikn there is a perfect woamn in all sense? nobody is perfect,should get along with the person whom we love :)

BORAN said...

I liked the content of the post..well written, and wat u said it absolutely right,gosh dont know why girls are so mad about edward cullen..lol..mm and about rama, he left sita in the end..so..he too aint perfect.:)

nishant said...

Interesting.
The doubt I have is whether girls would have fallen in love with Rama if he were there in flesh and blood. It is extremely endearing to read about a hero who wont do wrong and will be morally correct in all situations but too live with such a person is a different matter altogether. Imagine rama wont have let his girl copy from his sheet even if she were failing. He wont have supported her in a social setting if he felt she were wrong. He wont have bought tickets in black even if the boy and girl had come from a long distance to watch a live performance or sthing. And all these times , the other lesser mortals would be doing it. There is a reason we dont see those litreary heroes in life. Because the people who seem so admirable and romantic in text dont seem to be so attractive in reality.

Aparna K said...

Again im knocked out dis time TOO Sweetie.. Your Blogs are true from the heart!!! Actually fumble if i ve to comment on your post as dont know if i wd go wrong!!! my First thoughts were that may be you were been lil biased but when i read your clarification, agreed completely with you. These thoughts are in every Gurl's mind!!! But finally i Believe any relationship is all about give and take!! a Total two way process!!! Bas cant write like u!! just my simple thots!!

wuwei said...

whoa...thats good writing. we poor men need more chances dearie ;)

ashish bajpai said...

When u say about rama and edward cullen , u noticed one thing both were in love and neither got there beloved easily, they were good in there original senses or might be portrayed jus to show the sign of goodness.. but when u really talk about today...i say perfect man exist but they hav to transform due to other imperfectionist .... its upto girls to enlighten d way for them like in the saga sita did... so even if a guy is a per (fict), love and affection will make him Mr. Perfect ....

ritz said...

there goes a sayin to err is human ...that is why Adam and eve were banished from heaven in the first place...imperfection makes this world tick....... its a necessary evil ...in a dynamic world like ours were million dollar decisions are made in a jiffy ....imperfect thinkin gives rise to a vicious cycle that in its train brings new opputunities and challenges ....the man who rises to the occasion and sees the +tivity in every error is the real charmer ..after all why do we adore Rama...lets see... his passion for the people was not a function of their social status(his "kirtis" exemplify that), his finding an ally in a species that any other king would have rejected as imbeciles,his love for the very blood brother of his nemesis.... respect and passion for the step-mom who was the sole reason of his banishment and sorrow ....All these testify that its not ram's perfection but his ability to love people irrespective of their imperfections and shortcomings that makes him such a PRINCE CHARMING...

Sheyansh said...

you are quite into understanding guys and girls and increasing your knowledge from what is was before.
actually these type of guys exists who are as real as seems from a mile, but i guess they are few and hidden :)

Shruti said...

I strongly agree with that....
kwwp up the good work gal!! :)

Zneha said...

Hey Shruti,

Heard a lot about you, thanks for taking the time to read and dropping a comment, I really appreciate it. Its inspiring me to write more, and more regularily :). Keep reading babe!!

Thanks,
Sneha

Nimish said...

Very well written.

Unknown said...

I loved it completely!!! I really enjoyed this work of yours. I look forward to reading and enjoying more of your thoughts... keep up the great work swty!!

Chef Salil said...

You have managed to talk of two very diverse Characters, studied it and compared it to real life and have explained things perfectly. I suppose when you Talk of Character you could Relate to Brenden Rodgers philosophy of showing Great Character while explaining about 2 different eras and Two different men. Distinguishing between real and unreal takes a lot of Core creative thinking and you have managed to do just that.

Talking of Flaws : I rather not :p brilliant article. Keep writing many more such Articles. You showed Great Character :)

Unknown said...

Rama the perfect guy version did not stand up for his woman wen it mattered the most .. The choice between a 'not so perfect guy' but who is her support throughout and d perfect guy version is exclusively an individual's decision

Zneha said...

Thank you for your comment, Nishant. It's true, no one would value a Ram in today's World.