Not a girl..Am a woman..

I am 21! In a few hours I will be 22. I don't know why, am feeling overtly emotional about this. I can't leave 21 behind. It meant so much to me. I feel I am transitioning from a vulnerable kidult to the unknown, unfamiliar age of 22. What it holds, I do not know.

I also feel, maybe, this is because of the great times I've had in 21, The work experience at The PRactice, time spent at Bangalore, staying alone in a PG, time spent with real tight friends, loooong night walks, my first trip with friends to Pondicherry, trying out for zillion jobs of all kinds..read journalism, advertising, content writing, public relations, airlines ground staff, business development executive...all kinds. I loved every it, every minute was thrilling, tantalizing at every step. It was a beautiful year indeed. New beginnings happened in the later phase.

On the flip side, I could be feeling so strongly about it, owing to things that were lacking. Maybe I feel I didn't do justice to my age of 21. Why? As I let myself quit a job where I couldve tried to pass through a very rough patch. The job hunt was rough on me. I was living on the edge all through. I let my fitness go, in the later phase, getting an inch increase on my tummy. Tshirts tighter, jeans turn snug fit. Deprived myself from buying new clothes for so many months, walking out like a slob. Messing with my hair so much.

With this new year in my life, a new year of my existence, I promise myself, that I will be positive, self-sufficient, hardworking and confident. I have to learn new things with an open mind, take better care of myself, so that at the end of the year, I dont regret this. Regret over things I did not do, regret over the unattainable.

Thanks conscience, for bringing this to my mind. I love you 21. In my hearts of hearts I'll always be 21.

A Disquiet Mind

Poetry is liberating,
And so I’ve heard,
It unlocks your disquiet mind,
And lets the thoughts unfurl.

I have been heart sunken,
For a long time now,
The tragedy of the known,
Is the worst of the kind.

Taking refuge in activities unrelated,
I had to divert my mind,
How long I can hold the dam,
I had yet to find.

When it hurts from within,
There is a restlessness developed,
Your heart feels sore,
And your hatred swells from inside.

Wear striking colours on nails,
They glitz away your attention,
As you gaze in admiration,
It’s in your mind...Sweet, sweet flirtation.

Do justice to your life,
See most places, talk to all,
Have gala of a time,
While, as they term, you are in your prime.

While you cannot essay an unquiet thought,
You can verse away the blues,
You have the rhymes in place,
If not, it still brings out utter grace.

Days I spend in agony,
Are the worst days of all.

Modern day virtues, and their slow death

What makes me title my new post this, goes beyond me, but, I want to make this work.
I feel inspired by 'Sex and the City' to take up blogging again. Carrie Bradshaw is someone, any modern day girl would identify with. The sexcapades are a little too much to identify with, but her confused demeanour and messed up love life strikes a chord.
In our modern lives, we are all Carrie Bradshaws, who are struggling to find the right guy. Who would depend on their friends for every advice. Who would open up their lives to their friends. She makes mistakes, and she gets up and moves on. Its the spirit, one must have.
Let us hope this strong-willed character does not bring about change in an uncalled for way among the conservative Indian lot. However, the wheels are in motion, change is in the air.

Random thoughts: their importance

Have a fling with your wife sometime: My advice to philandering husbands of today..
Life is all about selling yourself to others, so why not help sell other things for a change?: My decision to join advertising.
That is a dose of the wandering thoughts in my brain. A befitting thought that struck me, to reinforce my point:
If I die like a brave woman, my last words would be "Ouch".
That is how the creative process goes I guess. First a vague, almost mad idea or thought grips you mid-motion, mid-conversation, mid-thinking, mid-...yeah mid-anything, and you are left with a sense of what it was that just went. You pen it down, and here you have a weird thought. That forms the basis of the larger things in your life.

Is 'Eureka' a befitting part of this club?

So give due importance to these thoughts. Save them. Use them. Let the world be run by them. We shall have a less contrived world out there. Share.